This is a short review about the Super Mario Bros movie. Yes, I am late to the party, as always. I only got to watch it because I was sick for nearly a month and had to force myself to stop working and go relax.
It is never a good sign when you’d rather open a text document with your sick face and start being productive, than continue watching a lighthearted animated film.
I mostly finished the film because of productivity too. I am the writer of the Wildebyte Arcades, stories about someone stuck inside video games, so I wanted to check how Nintendo made a story inside their video games. It ended up being more of an analytical watch :p
So, let me quickly explain what I did and did not like about the movie.
This article will contain light, vague SPOILERS.
The good stuff
The movie looks fine. As usual, they find just the right balance between simple/cartoony and detailed/realistic graphics. This makes the visual side simple, but never ugly or simplistic.
I also liked most of the action scenes. They weren’t too long or convoluted. They made creative use of rules, tools or the environment.
The only scene that didn’t do that … was the very first one. The opener where Bowser conquers a new kingdom. That was a very cliché and boring opening, which perhaps soured my mood for the remainder of the movie.
The scene after that, with Mario and Luigi being plumbers and everything going wrong, that was actually creative and fresh. I would have loved that “setup” to the movie if it didn’t go on a little too long. Sure, sure, we already know that everyone thinks the brothers are losers and made the wrong choice, no need to repeat it even more often.
As another example, take the scene where Peach races back to Mushroom Kingdom on her bike (to warn them to evacuate). This could’ve been a default shot of her driving on the road. This could’ve been a cut and she’s there. Instead, we follow her as she creatively races through the streets, using stairs, buildings, slippery turns to reach the palace more quickly.
That just makes all the action far more interesting to watch. I wish more action movies were that creative with it.
The bad stuff
The movie just does … nothing.
Visually, it does nothing special or creative. It looks like a standard modern animated film. Especially after seeing something like Puss in Boots 2 or Spiderverse, this just feels a bit bland.
Musically, it mostly recycles old hit songs, which I never like. Bringing something that is clearly from the real, human world into a fantasy story like this just breaks the immersion. All I can think about is that song and my real memories attached to it, removing me from whatever happens on-screen. I am now asking myself who the singer was while painfully realizing I’m watching a movie.
But this is especially egregious if you consider this is an adaptation of several bestselling video games. And video games have music. This is the movie where you can completely use or create your own music from start to finish! They could’ve just used the main themes of those games in the right places and it would’ve been much better!
When it comes to characters, everyone is a very superficial cardboard cutout. They all have one goal, one mode, one way of acting and speaking, and they don’t really change or learn or do anything besides follow along with whatever the plot wants. I mean, who is Donkey Kong really? Who is Peach really? What are their actual qualities, personalities, etcetera? Why would we care about them or their kingdoms? Luigi is unapologetically sidelined for the entire story!
The problem is, of course, that the plot doesn’t want anything special. It’s extremely formulaic, where no part of it surprised me or made me lean forward. It just never got interesting. It never did anything, besides perfectly follow the beaten path of “we need X to do Y to defeat evil Z”
Any problem they have, is solved five minutes later by convoluted luck (mostly). Mario is told to train and finish this parcours to join the mission … but he ends up never finishing it and is still allowed to join? (Even worse, Toad just walks up to them and is allowed to join too, without being required to do ANY training!)
Even then, the tiny bit of platforming Mario does at the end is very different from the thing he trained. (And in the opening of the movie, it already shows that he can platform very well—and Luigi can’t—so what was even the point?)
They spend a lot of time designing and building their own “Mario Kart” vehicles, only for all of them except one to be destroyed almost immediately once they start driving them.
Bowser’s entire joke is that he’s incredibly evil, yet head over heels with Peaches and would never hurt her. He’s completely blindsided by that and asks her to marry him even as she clearly isn’t interested. This can work! Silly little evil, with a quirk!
But not if the movie decides, after Peaches rejects him twice, to suddenly completely reverse that and have Bowser attack her and her kingdom at full force. Like … that’s just because the movie needed a fight scene for the climax, not because it makes any sense or feels right. (And then to reverse it again at the very end for a quick, uninspired joke.)
I guess the ending was fine, but also nothing new or too inspired. It was mostly fine because it was visually creative (again). At this point, it felt like the film had five different endings and I just wanted it to be over.
Remember my comment about how Mario’s family just keeps telling them they are jokes and should stop being plumbers? Yeah, well, so, erm, it’s never resolved. In the end, he gets a hug from his family, but that’s it. But the issue wasn’t that his family didn’t like him—nor do I think it’s a useful message to send: “you’re only useful if you miraculously save the world”. It would’ve been way more satisfying if his plumber skills ended up saving the day and everyone was forced to see that it’s a useful skill.
Finally, there wasn’t a single joke in the film that I can remember. Even the humor just … did nothing. Very easy shots, very easy attempts at a quick joke, nothing that actually made me so much as grin.
Conclusion
As I said, a brief review! (It’s not even an actual review, more just my summarized thoughts.)
The movie just felt like a whole lot of nothing that looked colorful and semi-fun sometimes.
I guess that’s okay for kids. It’s colorful, fast, and upbeat.
It will also be a feast of recognition for major fans of these games and characters … but even then, they try to put so many of them into the movie that none of them are really in the movie.
But I hope the paragraphs above put into words why I struggled so much with finishing this film. Anybody looking for an actual story of any kind should probably look elsewhere.
Did I learn anything that I can apply to my own Wildebyte Arcades? Not really. It mostly reinforced my belief in the direction already taken: the story happens inside a video game—following its rules and setting—but should be its own interesting story first and foremost.
I can understand why the casual audience liked the film and why it did well. That’s because of the IP, the recognizable characters, the appeal, the “comfort” with which you can watch such a film (or let your kids watch it). I can also understand why critics panned the film. Because if you strip away the marketing and the superficial layers on top, this is a whole lotta nothing.
Anyway, those are my quick thoughts about Super Mario Bros: The Movie.
